Job History

Many people have asked me what I have been up to these past several years, some think that I left 3M back in 1997 because of the excellent severance package they were offering, truth be told, after 18 years working as a film and video editor I.... just couldn't cut it anymore.

When a clock is hungry it goes back for seconds.

I apologize in advance....

...but my dad would have laughed or at least chuckled.
Stolen from a Facebook post of a former pen pal who now lives in Italy....

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's  Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replied, "I have a daughter, SLIM, TALL, 38D BREASTS, 24" WAIST and 36" HIPS. When she walks into a room, people say,"Jesus Christ!"

"Piazza San Pietro (4226259274)" by Greg Willis from Denver, CO, usa - Piazza San PietroUploaded by russavia. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Piazza_San_Pietro_(4226259274).jpg#mediaviewer/File:Piazza_San_Pietro_(4226259274).jpg

Overheard in the back seat

Where does a lamb get it's hair cut?

At the baa baa shop.

(courtesy of Roman - they start young)

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, 

"Are you all right?"

"No, I lost an electron!" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm positive!"

New Years Lesson*

With the holidays just behind us I would like to share a personal experience with my family & friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.

Well, seven days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails, followed by some rather nice red wine. And you know I rarely have anything to drink. Feeling jolly, I still had the sense to know that I may be over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before.

I took a cab home! Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it !!!

*While not a "Jon joke" from the collection he left us, it certainly is a Jon joke in spirit. I can hear my Dad telling this one...

"Checker Taxi Madison Sq jeh" by Jim.henderson - Own work. Licensed under CC0 via Wikimedia Commons

Let it all hang out

I see...